Wednesday 13 August 2014

No Regret, No Hate, Just Forgive even though You Will Not Forget It.

Mood menulis datang di tengah malam walaupun esok kerja,

Through out my life, i have learnt many things. Some people claims they are expert in your life, some people are busy to understand other people, some people are too kind, some people are too bad, some people make you laugh and some people....some people...

Pengalaman mematangkan kita, yes!

Dan belajar dr pengalaman, bukan ignore it. If it was a bad experience, dont hate it. If it was a good experience, appreciate it.

Never hate what was happened. Try to forget, try to forgive. You will end up with no regret,  happy and more calm.

Sebelum ni, 5 tahun, aku bertahan dengan erti kata lain setia pada si L, Anything, aku memang dh tetapkan hati, i will be loyal and i will try my best to be with him forever. Macam Wow kan bila kata Forevaaa! Terima segala kelemahan and kelebihan dia. Tapi, bila sampai satu tahap dan ketika, perasaan tu hilang dan ambil keputusan yang tak dijangka.

Hampir 4 tahun kenangan tu, tapi dalam masa 4 tahun tu juga, si L masih tak berpuas hati dengan keputusan aku dan setiap kali berhubung mesti bergaduh. Mula2, its ok we can be friend, no hurt feelings, try to be kind...tapi always end up with argument. Aku pun tak paham.Aku malas.

Why aku terima dia jd sahabat jd kawan? Sebab, aku tak nak buat musuh. Thats the point.

Tapi sampai hari ini, dia masih tak dapat terima alasan 'pengakhiran' tersebut. Puas difahamkan, puas melembutkan lidah, tapi tak berjaya jugak.

Sampai lah aku bagi kata putus, you want to be friend with me, mean it, tapi kalau awak ada niat selain tu. Please go.

Mujur betul my Mr.I ni memahami walaupun ada kalanya hampir tidak. Sorry...

Im not trying to start a fire. But, i dont want to make an enemy.

Mr. L,

If you want to argue, why on the first place i made that decision after 5 years we are together, you must read my previous entries for details. This is not about im having someone else. But, i lost my respect towards you. We have no respect, we are not happy.

Masalah yang tak pernah selesai.

Tapi, aku maafkan dia,. Maaf kan...everythings... From the moment i know him in my life until now. No regret, no hate.

Alhamdulillah, i heard good news, congrats! Akhirnya, dia akn tamat kan zaman bujang dia minggu ni. I told you, you and her are good together. You love her more than the feelings when you were with me.. Dont waste it. And now you not waste it. Proud with yourself.

Tahniah sekali lagi. I smiled when i heard it and im happy for him, kawan aku kata are you sure? Of course aku sure, dah lama aku doakan untuk dia, alhamdulillah! Bagi aku, apa yang dah jadi, dah pun jadi, he used to be someone special for me. Aku tak pernah denied. Kalau kata perasaan sakit hati tentang hal dulu tu, tipu la kalau tak sakit kan.

5 years, Dia ajar aku erti tabah, dialah tempat aku ngadu nasib, dia mematangkan pandangan aku, someone yang banyak berkorban masa & duit, someone yang boleh diharapkan, someone yang ajar aku additional mathematic, :D  and banyak lagi. Aku tak akan deny.

Masa menghapuskan sedikit demi sedikit keserasian kitorang. Setiap tahun, hari, jam dan saat makin pudar. Dan dalam masa sehari, perasaan tu tetiba hilang. Empty heart, Empty feelings. Maybe terlampau lama memendam perasaan dan Allah bantu aku saat tu.



Now, so far so goooood... (macam iklan KFC pulak), Alhamdulillah Allah pertemukan aku dengan Mr. I, semoga segala urusan kami dipermudahkan dan mendapat rahmat dari Allah. Im not looking for rich guys, handsome guys, Tapi cukup yang bertanggungjawab, dapat menyayangi aku, menghormati ibu ayah (family), dapat menjadi imam aku, and dapat bahagiakan aku. So far, he is good, dah hampir 3 tahun. Alhamdulillah. To the next step nanti. in shaa Allah! opss..



p/s: Under progress [loading...]